Excerpt

As a bonus for having missed a day of blogging, and to give you an idea of the ridiculousness my novel has taken, I will actually give allow you to read a section I wrote today. Remember (please) that the idea of NaNoWriMo is to keep writing and not go back looking for mistakes. You will also notice some of my obvious word padding that I haven't done in the past, but just seemed fitting with what I was doing today.

Doctor Williams left the foyer and the four of them just looked at each other. Whizzer was the only one that didn’t look terrified.

“Let’s take some photos and bag some evidence!” he said quietly.

“Don’t be stupid, Whiz,” Lace warned, “you aren’t in one of your crime shows now. This is real. You aren’t properly trained for that, and neither are any of the rest of us. I also don’t like the idea of standing here taking pictures when the girl is out there somewhere in danger.”

“Agreed,” Jake and Rager said at the same time, so I wouldn’t have to think of two random things for them each to say.

I also agree with what Lace said, and rather than spend a lot of time trying to create a believable mystery with clues and suspense when I am behind in my word count, I’ll skip to them finding the kidnapper.

Jenkins, or at least someone that looked like Jenkins stood in the field. They could seem him clearly as they cleared the woods at the base of the mountain. Though the field was surrounded by trees, the landscape was barren save for the recently plowed and tilled earth beneath their feet. The girl shook nervously with the knife at her throat. The man pointed a gun in the general direction of the crew.

Jake stepped closer, the man pointed the gun at him.

“I can take him,” Lace advised.

“I know,” Jake replied, “but then we won’t get the answer we need. Damus said we need to solve the mystery to save Melvin. Are you Jenkins?”

“Yes, of course I am!” Jenkins shouted, spittle flying from his angry mouth. “I want you to leave, or I’m going to kill the girl.”

“Moron,” Rager said, holding his far-too-large for this situation gun pointed at Jenkins, “We’d just kill you. Why would you do that?”

“Aren’t you going to kill me anyway?”

“We aren’t planning on it,” assured Jake, “but we need to know why you took the girl. Was it just for the money?”

“Of course it was for the money,” Jenkins started to explain for no reason like the criminals always do in detective shows, “I was tired of serving other people. We had had enough of being poor with no future.”

“We?” Whizzer asked stupidly, as I need to make sure it’s obvious that he belongs in this seen.

“Yes, my brother and I. We were twins.”

“Why’d you kill him then?” Lace asked, looking through the scope of her rifle. She was also disappointed, as the magical and scifi elements of the novel thus far could have lead to something much more interesting and X-Files-esque than a boring, ordinary murder.

“He was going to die anyway. He had in inoperable tumor. They told him he only had about two months to live. This was his chance to give me a way to make my fortune, if we couldn’t both live, than at least one of us could live well. We’d spent the last couple weeks taking turns being me. It wasn’t difficult; we’ve been pretending to be each other as a joke since we were children.”

“Well, all that was exciting,” Lace commented, “murder solved, now?”

“Not yet,” Jake directed, “there are still more details to be answered.”

“Why?” asked Rager, who was the type of person to be content by the lame answers given by the series finale of Lost. OK, that’s not true, he more likely would’ve been the type to get angry and smash the television because none of it made any sense. Rager would likely have smashed in Jenkins the same way, but Jake cautioned him not to.

“No,” Jake warned, “we still need to find out the details of how it was done. In all the crime shows and movies we get a flashback scene showing the details. Clearly we need one now.”

“Fine,” Jenkins acquiesced, “I’ll describe it exactly. My brother and I had been sending the notes. We took turns leaving the mansion undetected. It wasn’t difficult. We were careful to leave no prints on any of the notes we created and sent. We didn’t even make them in the mansion, we had a motel room that we rented by paying cash. We always went in disguise. We really had thought things out quite thoroughly,” he commented proudly. “We had hoped to set up a way to prevent the actual kidnapping. This really has become much more difficult than it should have,” he said, gun shaking.

“Get on with it,” Jake warned with a knowing motion of the head to Rager and Lace whose guns were still pointed at Jenkins.

“Right, where was I? Oh, yes! Our plan had been to somehow make the money drop off a preventative measure. We had a grand idea of encouraging Doctor Williams to have him send an employee with the cash. There was no one more trusted on staff than I, especially as I’ve been with the family the longest. It would have been very unlikely the good doctor would have questioned my loyalty. He probably would’ve been quite concerned when I disappeared as well, perhaps even informing the authorities to come search for me. Meanwhile, my brother and I would have been long gone to a tropical beach somewhere, enjoying what time we had left to each other.”

“What happened?” Whizzer asked, to remind us all that he is still at the scene, even though at this point he doesn’t really serve much purpose, and it is difficult write dialog for four people interrogating one man.

“You happened!” Jenkins shouted spitefully, “You happened. Professionals that came in and seemed to know what they were doing. The increased security made things difficult enough, but then you all showed up. We knew it wouldn’t be as easy to execute our original plan with you around, so we adjusted accordingly. We knew the security cameras and setup well enough, so we made it look as though I had been coerced into bringing the girl to save her father. I would have still looked loyal. Then, I had to shoot my brother so that no one would follow me. With Jenkins dead, the location of the girl was unknown and they would have to deal with the kidnappers!”

“It would have worked too--” Whizzer started.

“Don’t,” Jake warned. “Is that all?” he asked of Jenkins.

“Yes, except for how you’re going to let me go to protect the girl. I will send instructions on how you will be bringing me my money, getting the girl back, and ensuring that I get out of the country safely. Don’t follow me, or will hurt her bit by bit until you stop.”

“Lace, now,” Jake said.

The bullet was in Jenkins head, and Rager had his arms around the girl before the butler dropped. He picked the crying child up in his arms as easily as he would a doll. Lace went over to help comfort her.

“Did you get that?” Jake asked of Whizzer.

“Of course,” he said, proud that now there was actually a reason for him to be in this scene, “I got video and a separate high quality audio. It should be really good. I’ll make copies for our files, as well as the officials, and even the doctor if he wants one.”