Falling short

I only wrote a little over 1,200 words today. My goal for the weekend, actually my dream goal, was to get ten thousand words ahead of schedule. I had no set plans at all. I was going to take a weekend to just write and get ahead. I would have a buffer of buffers, one that I couldn't ruin no matter what I did (it was a dream goal). Then Friday I went out. Saturday I kept putting off the writing and got caught up doing other things (nothing productive, of course). I did pull off a decent day in the end on Saturday, and thought it would give me the momentum to have an incredible Sunday. It didn't. I just couldn't seem to get started today. Again, I was too distracted. The question would then be, why?

Well, the short answer is: writing is hard.

Not always, but it can be. That's the bad: writing is hard. If writing were easy, everyone would be authors happily writing amazing prose and poems until they were forced to sleep. That's not the case, though. So, when after 10,000 words and author (ok, me) feels like this is some of the worst writing he's done and there's no future beyond the next tiny scene he has in mind, it gets really hard to get back into the writing mood. That's part of the reason I have so many just-started short stories in my past. When the words aren't coming and the ideas feel forced, it makes me question why I'm bothering. That's the bad.

The good: it isn't always like that. Last year, I went through a similar situation. I ended up sending my characters to places I'd traveled, and used overly specific scene description to pad my word count. This continued on and on. Then, somewhere around the 30K mark it all started to come together and a future and purpose for the story created itself. Each story goes through that phase for me, and each time something comes out of it at the end.

The tip: if you get in that mood, just keep writing. At the same time, don't make the mistake I made this weekend. I got so focused on trying to push ahead in word count, that I forgot it was about the writing. I sat not doing the writing, not leaving so I could do the writing, and feeling guilty that the writing wasn't getting done. I went out tonight. I took a break from my apartment and writing. I came back and wrote about a thousand words in 40 minutes straight. What's important is that I came back to the writing. I'm still not sure if this story will truly go anywhere, but I'm trying. That's the most important aspect to writing for me, that I actually do it.

1922!

Apparently 1922 was the year that Ulysses by Joyce was published. It was also the year the USSR formed. However, today, 1922 refers to my word count for the first day of NaNoWriMo. That puts me about 200 words ahead of today's goal, which is pretty exciting. It's more exciting, because I wasn't sure I would get there.

Since my goal was to base my novel on other people's dares, I didn't really plan ahead for this one. There is no ending in mind yet. I'm not sure where I'm going. I know henchmen will be involved at some point, but they haven't appeared yet in the first 1922 words (though maybe they should have). I find writing can be at its best and worst when I know where my story is headed next. Not surprisingly, the same is true for when I have no idea where the story is going. It is freeing to think from sentence to sentence, just trying to make a logical step from idea to idea. Sometimes amazing things happen.

Sometimes, nothing seems to happen.

That is when things are at their most difficult. I hit that at around word 600 today. I realized I didn't know where I was going. I felt like there was no real idea there. Perhaps this whole dare idea was stupid (even though I've been thinking about it for 2 years now). Maybe one dare a day wasn't enough to start with. So much could change with each new dare, and will retroactively change all that I'm writing today. I stopped writing.

Twice.

Then I started back up again after a short break. I did what I tend to do when I'm not sure what action should  be happening...I describe. I put extra effort into the descriptions, I brought in a character I had only mentioned once before. Then I described her. I made it to my 1,667 word count and beyond.

Why is this important? It's important because this is what needs to be done to finish a novel. Whether it's one rough patch in a day, or even a rough week, the trick is to keep writing. Eventually, I know that if I keep writing, the story will put itself back on track. The story will eventually find a purpose. Why do I put myself through the torture of the rough patches? Get yourself through a few. See what comes out at the other end. Then tell me why you put yourself through it. I hope that you'll be telling me that you find that moment every bit as wonderfully awesome and magical as I do.